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Mum, your lap, please? #catstagram

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Muppet faces!

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Jeez. Keep it in your pants, Universe.

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The only time I wish I had coworkers is when I know I could 100% creep them out.

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Business as usual at The Homer Group. W/@cassandrakarinen.

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Thanks guys.

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My organs? Cool. My tissue? Sure. My eyes?! CAN’T I KEEP ONE THING FOR MYSELF?!

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Ex-squeeze me Noah, but I’m not sure who told you that you could go ahead and grow up. I mean, turning 4? I don’t know if I’m okay with this… I might have to write a strongly worded letter to somebody because I want mini you forever. Until I find the right person to talk to, have the happiest birthday ever! Give one of my most loved nuggets birthday love for me mrsballerina @cubanking729.

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Do you know where your grandma is right now? Cause she might be over here, buying a 12 pack, in her best Hawaiian shirt.

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1000% fucking nope.